


What Makes a Villian?

by WriterofGotham



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gen, Marvel Universe, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 02:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12785040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterofGotham/pseuds/WriterofGotham
Summary: Bucky doesn't  know what he is anymore.





	What Makes a Villian?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Firemoon_and_starlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firemoon_and_starlight/gifts).



A villain: one who is a cruelly malicious person who is involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime; scoundrel.

That is the winter Soldier, a villain. Devoted to evil doing, pointed in the direction of people who got in Hydra's way. Killing without mercy and never disobeying orders, he knew what would happen if he ever should.

Bucky is different, he is the Winter Soldier and he isn't the Winter Soldier. Bucky still killed people he was a sniper, he kept his army buddies safe. He killed those that might harm his friends. It was war and it was justified. He was a Howling Commando, and he was proud of it.

He knows what he's done, as the Winter Soldier. If he could he would have changed it so that he would have died instead of being found by...them. wishes and regrets can't bring back the lives he has taken.

Bucky also knows that he's trying. He's not there completely, but he's not alone anymore. He can have help to be his own person and make decisions that are good. He doesn't have to hurt people anymore, so he doesn't. He isn't exactly Bucky, but he's not the Winter Soldier anymore either.

He likes to watch people. See old lovers smile as the meet each other after working, children playing in the street without any fear, father's and mother's just... families. He remembers that he used to have one. A Mom, a Dad, sisters, a brother, he had friends and girlfriends. People used like him, not shrink in fear at his name or shadow.

A hero : a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

Bucky knows he isn't a hero. If you aren't a hero what are you? His mind whispers a villain and that's all you'll ever be.

Eighty years ago he was revered fallen hero. No one knew just how very far and into what darkness he fell into that made him it's own. He tries to help people by staying out of the way. He doesn't talk to people, because if they get to know him it will hurt them. Maybe then, maybe later on, everyone around him gets hurt.

He draws in little notebooks pictures of places and times when he wasn't a villain. He sleeps when he can, but nightmares make it hard he can't ever feel safe. Not when the doors and windows are locked. Not when he sleeps beside his backpack with everything that is his. He doesn't sleep with a weapon, because his mind tells him, you are one. Drawing little pictures help, he doesn't think a monster would be able to create something that didn't hurt people. The pictures were pretty, and it was calming to do when he woke up in a cold sweat dreaming about his decades in Hydra.

He likes farmers. People who are honest and work hard loving the land. He buys vegetables and fruit from them. Plums help with memories a blessing that turns into a curse, sometimes. The Winter Soldier doesn't hurt people anymore, and Bucky is trying to remember the years that he had friends. It seems that the him that had friends was someone else's life, but he's left with the memories of someone who had a Mom and Dad that taught him wrong and right. He's everything that they told him not to do, and be.

He lives in a safe enough apartment. He isn't but he isn't alone.

"Bucky?" Steve asked as he looked at his best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my best friend and little sister Happy Birthday! Firemoon and starlight!!!!!


End file.
